His Sanctuary, Her Haven
by Neganslilmonster
Summary: Negan saves a girl from being human trafficked for 10 years, he brings her back to a world that's dead, but still safer than the hell she was living in. Deals with a lot of adult themes and abuse, and coping mechanisms.
1. Chapter 1: Sold

**Chapter 1:**

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[OC POV]

It started off just like any other day, except this day, we went to the park. The park was the same as any other day too...except that day, my mother took her eyes off of me for just a minute. All it took was a minute, for me to be was shoved into the back of a dirty, rusty van.

I sat up as fast as I could, and looked out the window as we moved further and further away from the park. I banged on the window and screamed, and cried for help. But it was too late. We had already been driving driving away from the park, quickly. Too quickly. That's when I heard a woman in the front seat tell a man named Earle, to shut me up, and as I turned, I got a blow right to the head.

Then there was just darkness.

I woke up in an even worse place, one that I didn't recognize at all. My face on the cold pavement. Nothing on my body, I laid there bare. I tried to sit up, but everything looked blurry. But I could see, other girls surrounding me. All just as scared as myself. Where were we? and why were we here? All I really wanted was to go home, to my mom.

Then there was talking in the background. It took me awhile to let my ears adjust, but when they did, I heard the woman from the front seat talk, the one with the southern accent talking.

"This new one, caused us a lotta trouble. Screaming and crying as we took her. I bet people are out lookin' for her bitch." I heard the noise of spit hitting the pavement next to me. I guess they missed their target, me.

"We're looking to move this livestock as soon as possible. She's cheaper due to all the trouble she caused us. We was hoping you would take her, since you've broken so many of our other girls. She doesn't seem like one of obedience, but I'm sure you'll change that." She said, and I wondered what she was talking about. Not me, was she? Things like this happened on the news all the time, but I carelessly changed the channel each time to cartoons, thinking "Well, that could never happen to me." But it did, it is. But why to _me?_

There's a long pause, and I wished that I had still been knocked out. I glance around and see the one she called Earle or was it Merle? standing around, next to another boy who looked as though he's never showered. He looked uncomfortable, but who wouldn't be, when your family is a bunch of human traffickers. I stared at him, my eyes pleading for help. But the boy did nothing. I'm not sure what I was expecting. Maybe for some humans to have a bit of humanity left. Boy could I ever be more wrong.

"Let me get a better look at her." I hear the voice say. The woman unlocks the chain link fence, and I hear boots with squeaky soles walk up to me. Dry hands that reeked of cigarettes grabbed me by the face. He looked into my eyes with his souless, piercing blue ones. Then I hear a tisk fall from his mouth.

"She's got an ugly shiner. But once it heals, I think this one will be a beauty." He says, and I struggle to get away from his hold and gaze, but my head is still spinning. A Sharp pain stings in the back of my head where I was hit earlier.

"Oooh and feisty too. I'll take her." the man leaves and I'm locked in again. I see the two gaze at me through the chain link fence holes. The woman snickers at me. "h…" I tried to speak, but I was so weak. I reached out to the woman, trying to demand she help me, as I pass out on the pavement again.

Later, I was awoken by the sound of an engine. My body being jostled around a bit. I slowly opened my eyes to see I'm in the bed of a truck. I glance down at my hands, which are duct taped. My feet, legs. Almost all of me. I wiggle around and try to get up, but it's no use. I can't get up. I wait there terrified. It's hours and hours later, until the truck finally stops, and I'm unloaded from the vehicle. I'm thrown to the ground. I closed my eyes as a cloud of dirt surrounds me.

"Home sweet home!" I hear. When the dust clears, I opened my eyes. I was on some sort of farm, or maybe ranch? A secluded property where, no one would hear my screams for miles.

That's when I heard a scream, that wasn't my own And the noise of water hitting the ground. As well as my face. It's hot and red...it's not water at all, but blood. I watched horrified as the man who had just brought me out of the truck was being devoured by another decaying man.

I heard the voice of the man who had "purchased" me earlier let out a string of cuss words and shoot a shotgun at the man who already looked as though he was dead.

"What in god damn hell." He says before picking me up by my bindings and dragging me away. I watched the two dead men lay on the ground as I'm dragged then thrown in a barn. I'm tossed aside in a corner of hay as I watched my captor pace back and forth, before turning on a nearby radio, fidgeting with the antenna. An announcement was made to stay in your homes. That the dead walked among us. None of this seemed real, Maybe I was still in bed, having a nightmare, maybe I hadn't woken up and started the day yet, maybe I never even went to that park. The pain in the back of my skull told me otherwise.

I thought that maybe, I had a chance of being saved. That my mom would be looking for me, the police too, that they would help. But they arrived too late. But then I thought, maybe they would still look for me. But now that some kind of walking dead is among us, I'd be the least of everyone's worries.

The man pacing looks over at me as I stared at him.

"What in Sam's hell are you looking at, bitch?" He asks before coming up and dragging me by the hair. He tosses me into a filthy horse stall and that was it for a long while. Hay, and silence.

I was left there for a whole day before he came back.

"Well shit. I almost forgot about you, sweet cheeks. Looks like it's just the two of us left in the world, so you'd better be real damn nice to me." He says as he corners me, getting ready to drop his pants.

This is what my life looked like for me, for the next seven years. Every day, I wished for death. Every day, I wished one of the dead would walk in here and take my life. But they never did.

I was about ten years old when I was taken. I never even had a goddamn chance.

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Author's note: The adult themes of this fanfic may be hard to read, but it's part of a story that I wanna tell, if you didn't like it, that's okay, but things will only get better from here when Negan rescues her. if you read this far, thank you so much for reading! feel free to give me a review/your thoughts!


	2. Chapter 2: 10 years later

**Chapter 2:**

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[OC POV]

***about 10 years later***

I'm laying against the hay covered floor as I hear the chains on the door outside jiggle. That meant he was coming down here, for what I wasn't quite sure anymore. For years he only came down here to take what was between my legs, but in the last few years, when he told me the world had been taken over by monsters, he came down here more often. He said that I was quite literally the last person in the world next to him, and even if I did try to run, no one would be there to help me like in the world before. That didn't stop me from trying though. I look up when I hear a voice that isn't my captor's, followed by another's footsteps.

"So. Now that you've given me the grand fucking tour outside, let's see what kind of goodies ya got for us in here." A deep masculine voice says. That voice, was definitely not the voice I had heard for the last several years. This was someone new. I look up weakly, trying to listen to what was going on.

"Don't you worry, Stan, my man. We're just looking around. Seeing what's of value. We take half your shit, and you'll be fine." I heard the new voice say. It was raspy, but somehow, pleasing to hear.

I shuffle and get closer to the door to hear what's going on better.

"You got a horse or some shit in there?" The man asks and I can hear his feet stomp over here with confidence. He must have heard me shuffle in the hay as I walked around. I run to the corner and curl up in the tightest ball I could. This man could be worse than Stan for all I knew, especially since Stan was so clearly scared of him. He's just gotta be worse.

"I guess you could say that." I heard Stan say, then spit. "You could have her if you like." He says as the door swings open with a creek. I have my face buried in my arms, though I can't help but glance over at the tall man who opened the horse stall door. His gloved hand still stuck to the door. He was wearing a leather jacket, like the one from that movie grease. And, he had a gun in his free hand. He looked shocked to see me, though I don't know why.

He's got eyes much darker than my captors sickening blue ones. Dark hair as well. He was much taller also, which put a little bit of fear in me. I stay completely still. As if, they wouldn't see me if I didn't move. The strange man's eyes dart from me, to the chain traveling from my wrists to the wall, then to my captors. He pauses, Still pretty shocked to see me I suppose.

His expression turned from shocked to stern. I scoot closer to the brick wall for comfort, curling up against it, as if to protect myself from whatever may come next.

"Stan! What the shit is this!?" He asked, pointing at me with his gloved finger.

"L-like.I said. Y-y-you could have her! She's a good fuck." Stan stated and the dark haired man tsked.

"Now, Stan. When I asked if there was anything I'd wanna see, it's shit like this." He points to me again.

"And here I thought I said show me everything, because your shit, is my shit now. and you tell me there's nothing in the horse stables?" He asks and my captor just swallows, his eyes locked onto mine, as I search his for answers as to what's going on. The strange man clad in a leather jacket grabs him by the neck harshly with one hand, the other hand a gun aimed at him.

"Does she look like nothing?!" He asked, his voice dripping in anger now, a lot different than his cool and collected voice before. My captor shakes his head.

"No…" he finally says, and the man doesn't let go of him. He looks me up and down, sees the bruises up my legs, the red seeping through my clothing from a wound I had gotten days ago from him. The stranger then forces the only man I've known for years to his knees, facing me. His eyes still locked on mine.

"This shit, doesn't fly with me. This shit, is so not okay." He says, nodding to a man with a mustache who kicks Stan to his knees.

"Fat Joey, bring me Lucille, boy do I got a job for her!" I listen to his words and wonder just who This Joey and Lucille is. Within a minute, a chubbier man comes down with a horrifying looking baseball bat in his hands. I wait for Lucille to come down with him, but see no one with such name appear. Only the man and the baseball bat. The stranger, who's name I still don't know, takes the bat, then dismisses the man and comes back to us. I'm still quietly huddled against the wall. I don't know what's about to happen next, but it didn't look good.

"Man... I was gonna bring you with us back to the sanctuary. Put you to work. You could have ended up being one of my top guys had you played your cards right." He says, and I hang onto every word he says. His voice is scary but my mind somehow fancies the tone of his voice despite the fact that it was one of the scariest things I've ever heard my whole life. Maybe because I've only ever heard one voice for so many years. Suddenly, the stranger tisks.

"Now, I don't know if this is some kind of freaky kink thing you and this young lady got going here, hey maybe it is. Maybe this…" he then gestures all around the horse stables I've called home for years now. "Is some kind of redneck ghetto dungeon. Hey, I don't judge." he says then circles around him, and eyes me, and the state I'm in. "But I get the gut feeling that this shit ain't consensual, is it?" He asks my captor, venom dripping from his voice. My captor, Stan shakes his head slightly and looks down.

"This shit." He points to me with his baseball bat. "Is not okay." That's when I furrow my eyebrows. I wasn't exactly sure what he was talking about, what wasn't okay?

"So not okay." He repeats then looks at him, so casually, that I didn't even expect him to swing up his baseball bat, and connect it with Stan's skull. Blood drips down his face between his eyes. My own eyes widen in horror at the sight. The stranger raises the baseball bat again, and hits him repeatedly. Over. And over. The sound of his skull being crushed makes me sick, and I feel myself vomit up my breakfast on the barn floor. I wipe my mouth, and the skull crushing has stopped. My eyes travel over to the body and a pile of mush and blood on the floor. I don't even notice when the stranger kneels before me. I could very well be his next victim.

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Author's note: I accidentally uploaded this story under the wrong category, it's fixed now! I thought it was wrong but wasn't sure, then someone reviewed and informed me! thank you so much! anyways, I hope you guys who are still reading enjoy the story! I'm gonna update some of my older stories as well.


	3. Chapter 3: Here's Negan!

**Chapter 3:**

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[OC POV]

I stay put in the corner. My legs up to my chest. My arms around my knees, cradling myself. I hated Stan. But he was all I knew for years. Since I was maybe ten, maybe even younger, who knows anymore, and now, he was a pulp on the pavement, all because the sight of me angered This man some how.

Speaking of, the leather clad baseball player sighs, then turns around to me. A crazed look hazed his dark eyes as he walked over to me, eerily calm. He was covered in Stan's blood. I try to press myself closer to the wall, with fail. The man crouches down to meet eye level with me.

"Sorry you had to see that…that is, unless you enjoyed the show." He says with a grin. He had just killed a man and he's over here grinning at me? Surely I was his next victim. I stayed quiet and he sighed in response to my silence.

"Not a talker, huh? That's cool." He says as he shrugs off his leather jacket to reveal a white t shirt the front covered in blood.

"Listen. I'm not gonna hurt you. I'm not into hurting women, that shit, is so not cool." He says then and reaches for me, I recoil back and he puts his hands up in defense.

He's quiet, waiting patiently for my gaze to meet his again. When it finally does, he speaks again. "I'm Negan " He says casually, as though he didn't just bash the skull in of my worst enemy and only companion for years. I swallow down the breath I had been holding in for I'm not sure how long.

My eyes locked onto his not blinking. The fear in my eyes so very clear to him.

"I'm Negan...and who might you be?" He asks me, repeating himself. I glance back over to the pile of mush on the floor before directing my attention back to Negan.

"E-emily." I tell him and he nods, taking a deep sigh. "I am so sorry you had to see that shit, Emily." He says again, as he points to the pile of mush that was once a living person, a piece of his flesh and skull hanging off the end of his baseball bat, blood dripping from it. I remain quiet. I was taught to not speak unless spoken to. He then continues.

"I actually had not planned on doing that, but when I realized what that sick fuck must have been doing to you down here...well, I couldn't very well let him keep breathing, not in my world." I nod lightly, though I didn't really get what he was talking about exactly.

He then looks around the barn and sees some keys on a dusty desk in the corner. He grabbed them and approaches me. I flinch when he comes close, but find he unlocks the cuffs around my wrists. I look up at him graciously, then rub my wrists, first the left, then the right. My captor didn't let me out of them very often, except when I was good.

He looks at me, a softness in his dark eyes, as though he hadn't just killed a man before me, then he asks. "Why don't you come with us. We've got food, shelter, protection, and you won't have to deal with fucks like that." He points to the pool of blood and gore on the floor that was once my captor.

"Not as long as I'm around." I think for only a minute then nod up at him. It wasn't like I had very many options. While it wasn't my choice to be locked down here, He was my only source of food and water, and he had told me the world had died out there, I hadn't seen it for myself, but I was sure I wouldn't know how to handle it out there all on my own. After I nod, he asks me if I can stand. I nod and attempt to do so, but fall back down. He catches me, and I recoil at his touch he puts his hands up yet again to show me he means no harm. I try to stand again, and find it difficult with the stabbing pain in my rib cage.

He kneels down again next to me. Worry in his eyes a bit. He leans over as he speaks "if you let me pick you the fuck up, I can carry you right up those stairs, fuckin' effortlessly, might I add." I hesitate then nod. He puts his hands on me to pick me up and I recoil back yet again and he sighs in frustration then looks down at me.

"How about, you come to me, and when you're comfortable, say the word and I'll take you the fuck outta this shit hole." He opens his arms. I take only a minute or two to hesitantly approach him and wrap my arms around his strong shoulders. I nod giving him the okay, and he lifts me up. I hold onto him weakly He carries my up the stairs I'm still terrified of him, though I'm also terrified of the outside world, if it's as terrifying as my captor says, not Only that, I haven't left that barn in years, not since before the world ended.

He carries me up and the light of the outside world is too much for my eyes to bare. I close them quickly and lean into the strange man's chest for shelter against the light. I can't remember the last time I saw light that wasn't from the dusty yellow flickering clamp light in the barn. I keep my eyes closed and The man holding me barks out orders to whoever else is around I didn't catch the chance to see.

"ALRIGHT. LET'S GET A MOVE ON PEOPLE. LOAD UP THE TRUCKS WITH WHATEVER YOU CAN AND LET'S GO!" He hollers and I curl up in his arms, my ears not exactly fancying the sound of yelling. He notices this and I can feel him looking down at me once before he carries me to their cars. I can already feel the sun beating down on us, and burning on my pale skin. I remember as a child, when my mother would take me to the park, how warm and comforting the sun had once been. But now it's cruel and burning. Not only to my skin, but to my eyes as well.

He puts me gently in the car then closes the car door, then gets in on the other side. I squint my eyes open to look around the car. I haven't been in one in so long, since I was a kid. He tells me to buckle up, and I fumble with the seat buckle. He must have been annoyed with me because he ends up reaching over and does it himself. I clear my throat and close my eyes again, since the sun is still way too bright.

"Thank you." I say softly and he chuckles lightly.

"No problem, doll face." We drive for a bit and he looks over at my scrunched up face and closed eyes. "You can open your Goddamn eyes, you know." He tells me and I shake my head.

"No...too bright...it hurts…" I squint over at him and then close them again. He looks at me almost in disbelief.

"God Damn, how the fuck long did he keep you down there any fucking ways?" He asks, and I take note that this man says the word fuck a lot.

"Uhm…" I say softly, and think about it. "Years…" I say, unsure of just how long it's been. I feel him looking over at me again, then he looks back on the road.

"I'm sorry to hear that…" his voice is genuine. "I'll have good ol' Doctor Carlson take a look at you When we get home." He adds, looking at the side of my shirt where I was currently bleeding. the wound itself didn't hurt much anymore. My shirt in fact was stuck to the blood there. It was my ribs that really hurt. I nod lightly as the word home rings in my head. Home was gone. I hadn't had a home since before all this mess.

He leaves me alone with my thoughts for most of the car ride. I'm terrified of where he could be taking me, but it can't possibly be any worse than the situation I was in before. When we get there he helps me out of the car. Apparently I've forgotten how to unbuckle as well, and he picks me up and takes me to the infirmary the doctor was in he had spoken about. Could the world really be all that dead, if people found myself and my captor in the middle of nowhere, when no one could find us when the world was well and alive? Just how dead could the world be if there were still doctors in it? As well as an infirmary.

As we approach the building, I feel my stomach tangle in knots. Maybe he wasn't even taking me to a doctor. Maybe he lied. Maybe this was a trap, and I'm letting him carry me into whatever unknown horrors he wishes upon me. I think with panic, as the stranger carries me inside.

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Author's note: A little more dialog this chapter! well, from Negan at least haha. Also, thank you so much, Horrorfan13 and guest for reading! I really appreciate it! haha. I hope y'all liked this chapter, please review! Thanks for reading!


	4. Chapter 4: The infirmary

**Chapter 4:**

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**[Emily POV]**

Once we're at the infirmary, I'm set down on a bench with paper over it. I glance around. There were pictures of skeletons and stuff on the walls. Jar of fluffy white things on the counter. Yep it was just like the doctors when my mother would take me when I was a kid. Except there were no lollipops. I wondered if I would get one later- no there are far more important things than that right now.

The man who calls himself Negan stands in the room, by my side. He's so tall it's scary. And he's making me rather nervous. I bite my lower lip and look down at my feet as I swing them off the edge of the bench I'm on. This was all so new and scary. I couldn't stop myself from shaking as we waited on the doctor to show up. Finally the door opens and a shorter man walks in.

"Carson, where the fuck were you? What took you so Goddamn long?" Negan asks impatiently and the Doctor looks terrified of him as he apologizes. Should I be just as scared of my savior as well, I wondered.

The doctor greets me. And I just look at him blankly not too sure how to respond. He glances down at my blood covered shirt sticking to my body. He gently approaches me and tries to take my shirt off and I whine. I raise my shaky hand and swatt his away. Tears welling up in my eyes.

"P...please don't…" I beg scooting further away on the bench from the two of the men in the room. I thought they would be different than him. But maybe they just want the same thing from me. Maybe this is just how the world is.

"Miss...I have to see under your shirt so.I can see how badly the wound is...may I?" He asks and I hesitate and look over at Negan and he nods at me.

"Come on doll, it'll be fine. I won't let him or anyone hurt you. Just let the Doc here help you." He says and I nod. Doctor Carson tells me to lay down on the paper on the bench and I do. I hyperventilate a bit when he begins to cut my shirt off. It's okay. They just wanna help me. I had to remind myself. And It's not like I haven't gone shirtless before.

When the shirt is pulled away from me, I'm left feeling exposed. The doctor puts pressure on my wound, I wince and let out a whine.

"Severe bruising, possibly fractured rib. Could use some stitches just to be on the safe side." He says and Negan nods.

"Well doc, patch her up." I hear his scratchy voice say and the doctor put a cold cloth to my wound cleaning up the blood. I whine every time he touches me. It hurt so much. But I understand now that he's only trying to help.

After the stitches, my savior puts his heavy leather jacket around me and carries me around and up some stairs. I clutch to him in case he decides to drop me, but he doesn't.

He takes me to a room then sets me on a mattress that was like, a million times bigger than any I've ever seen. And once I'm on it, I feel myself dip in, and I feel like I'm on a cloud. If it weren't for the pain in my rib cage, I would have thought I had died and gone to heaven. I was on a cloud after all.

Negan walks out of the room, and I look around. Not daring to speak or move from where he set me. I was much too scared of the consequences.

When he came back, he had some boxer shorts and a large white t shirt. He sets those on my lap.

"Here ya are, doll." He says and I stay still and just look down at them on my lap, not making any quick moves.

Negan raises an eyebrow at me. "You can put those on now, doll. Those are for you." I nod quietly then slip his leather jacket off and set it on the bed. I clear my throat lightly.

"T...thank you." I say and slip the T shirt on. He turns away from me, as though I put on some sort of shameful display, when I was only doing what he asked of me. Though, I appreciated it nonetheless, he didn't look at me with eyes like _he_ did.

Once I have the clothes on, I stand there quietly. Negan turns to peak at me. Then gestures to the bed, for me to sit, and I do. I bring my feet up to my chest and hug them to me. He grabs a chair and drags it against the floor and puts it in front of me. Then he sits down on it, even though there was plenty of bed on his giant bed.

"Now. Normally I'd be out there with my guys, getting first pick on what I want from your old man's inventory we took, but uh, I didn't really want to leave you alone after that shit show you lived through." I raised an eyebrow at him wondering what he meant, and he sighs.

"You don't talk much, do you?" he asks and I shake my head at him. "That's alright. I like talking. But I got a hell of a lot of questions for you, Missy." He says and I just watch him with my grey eyes, waiting for his questions, wondering what happens next.

"And I expect you to answer them." He says and I nod at him which earns me a grin from him, then he begins to ask them.

"First of all...how long did he have you chained up down there like that?" He asks and I clear my throat again. I wasn't use to so much talking.

"I'm not sure." I say and watch as he scratches the back of his head.

"Well, where were you when the world went to shit?" He asks and I look down at my hands. Counting was of no use. I was taken when the walkers were released into the world. But I had no way to keep track of time since then. I had guessed several years, but I wasn't sure just how many.

"I was there since before the dead…" I say then look up at him. "Is the world as dead as he told me? He said we were the only ones…" I trail off my question, just dying to know, then my eyes widen. I spoke without being spoken to that time. "I...I'm sorry." I say and look down. Negan's gentle eyes look at me as he speaks.

"No need to be sorry. We're just fuckin' chatting here. Nothing wrong with talking, sweet heart." he explains leaning back into his chair, relaxing, then pausing as realization slowly forms over his face.

"How the fuck old are you?" He asks and I shrug looking down. "How many years has it been since the world- since the undead?" I ask looking up at him. I wasn't always good at math, but I could count at least. I had no way of keeping track of time in that barn horse stall, though, I just know that it felt like forever.

Negan sighs. "About ten years. or so." He says and I look up at him puzzled. Had it really been that many years? If just the outbreak was ten years...wow. I paused for a bit, then I looked down at my hands trying to do the math.

**_[Negan's POV]_**

I watch her put up ten fingers. Then just two, and she pauses. She adds three more fingers then stares at the five, then looks up at me, as if to ask for help, but then adds four more. "How many years again?" She asks furrowing her eyebrows.

"Seven." I reply, trying to keep calm. As she looks at her hands then puts down a finger Then puts them all down. She puts up ten, then none, then ten again, which must mean twenty.

"I uh...I'm not really sure...I'm not t...that good at math..." She replies and I just at her. She did look rather young. But I wasn't sure how young.

"So you were like twelve, ten?when the walkers took over?" I ask and she pauses then nods with a shrug that tells me nothing.

"I'm pretty sure I was somewhere that age when..." She replied and I raised my eyebrows, then it clicked she was kidnapped as a fucking child. ten fucking years old. Possibly older or younger, but a kid no less. God knows what that sick fuck did to her all these years. I look over at her, to see her hugging herself. She looked uncomfortable as fuck but I wasn't about done asking questions.

"How old were you when that sick fuck took you?" I ask and her grey eyes fall to the floor as she answers.

"I..." she pauses then i watch her swallow a breath in. "I don't really remember...but i was small." She confirms, and I lose it I get up, and slam the door behind me.

**_[Emily's POV]_**

I must have done or said something wrong, because as soon as I told him how old I was when I was abducted, he storms out and slams the door loudly. I raise my hands to cover my ears then look around the unfamiliar room.

The feeling of being alone in a room so different is overwhelming. Then I heard a loud crash and some glass break in the other room. I whine a bit and scurry to the closest corner of the room hidden behind a nightstand by the bed I curl up and hug my legs to my chest, leaning against the wall. I close my eyes shut.

I should be used to such noises and such things, but I'm just not. And while that barn was awful and he was just as awful, at least he was predictable. At least I knew what to expect. I didn't know what my savior wanted from me, nor this place. And that was scary. I feel my eyes water up at the sound of pounding on the wall. I cover my ears and listen to a voice in my head one I often listened to when things got too tough.

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine you make me happy, when skies are grey, you'll never know dear, how much I love you, please don't take my sunshine away."

My grandmother used to sing that to me often when I was a kid. if I close my eyes and think of her, I could still hear it. I stay in that corner until I'd be told otherwise. I'm not sure how long it was, but it's dark now, and Negan walks back into the room, looking around then I hear his feet stop at the bed

"Where the Fuck are you, kid?" He asks then he rounds the bed and sees me in the corner. He looked shocked to see me like he forgot I was there perhaps. I glance down at his hand and it's bandaged up I wonder what happened.

"What are you doing over there, doll face?" He asks in a softer tone, and approaches me, and I sink lower, cowering as he's standing over me. He puts his arms up in defense and takes a few steps back.

"Not gonna hurt you, Doll." He says, looking at me. I nod and wipe my tear stained cheeks with a sniffle.

"Uh...sorry if I scared you there earlier… Violence towards women and children is just… So not cool." He says and I nod in agreement silently.

We sit there quietly for a few moments. I watch as Negan's eyes travel to my marked up legs. He lets out a sigh and brushes his stubble with his left hand, then looks up at me.

"You can, uh use my shower if you want." He finally mumbled and I nodded standing up. I could not remember the last time I got to bathe. I stand there awkwardly a bit and he gestures to a nearby door. I nod again.

"T-Thanks." I say before going in. I close the door behind me and look around. Grey tiles everywhere. A toilet. The bath tub. I take a few steps forward to look in the bathtub. There were knobs and stuff, but I couldn't for the life of me figure it out.

I turn around and jump at the moment I see at the corner of my eye. But it was only my own reflection.

I stare at it. I lock my eyes onto my own gaze. I haven't seen myself in a very long time. My once round face has more defined cheekbones, jaw bones. My hair tangled beyond belief. The girl in the mirror was a woman, and she wasn't me. I bite my lower lip and stare for a bit. I looked like my mother. Well, not exactly, maybe I was a skinnier version of her.

I get tired of the sight of the stranger I see in me, and sink down to the floor. The tiles are cold underneath me, but I don't really care. It felt kind of nice. I wrap my arms around my legs and hug myself for comfort.

I wished for years to be gone from that place, and now that I finally am, the changes all feel so wrong. I feel like a puzzle piece that doesn't fit. I sit there for a long while, until a startling knock snaps me out of it and I jump a bit.

"Emily, are you okay? I don't hear any fuckin' water." I hear his deep voice say through the door. I clear my throat lightly and stand up to answer the door.

"Y...yeah, I uh." I bite my lower lip again. "I Uhms can't figure it out." I say, then look down at my feet. Negan brushes past me and walks up to the bathtub. He turns some knobs and the familiar sound of running water reaches my ears. He pours some soap in and watches it fill up, occasionally checking and making sure it's warm. I could swear he was a professional at preparing baths, or maybe I was just lacking common sense.

Once it's filled up he gestures to the bubble bath with a grin.

"All yours, little lady." He says just before he starts walking towards the door. Though, I don't really want to be left alone.

"W...will you stay…?" I ask in a small whisper and he stops and spins around on one heel.

"What was that?" He asks with an eyebrow raised, perhaps shocked by my question. I clear my throat again.

"Will you please stay…" I glance at the bathtub.

"Water...kind of scares me…" I explained looking down at my hands. He just nods then takes a seat on the toilet seat lid.

"Alright." He simply says and I turn to the bathtub. I stare at the bubbles, but I know just underneath them is water. I bite my lower lip again, this time so hard that it bleeds. That's when a voice snaps me out of my trance yet again.

"You know, sweetness, usually people get inside the bath, when they wanna take one." I could tell I was annoying him. I felt so bad because he's helped me so much.

"I'm sorry…" I say, gripping the hem of my shirt. He turns around to look away from me.

"If you need help taking your clothes off, just say the word, I'm a bit of an expert at getting the ladies to drop their fuckin' clothes for me." He chuckles, leaving me puzzled. I didn't quite get what he means but I look over at him and speak up.

"I can do it...thank you." I say stripping myself of the large T shirt and boxers he had given me earlier. I take one step into the tub. The water was still warm. It was more comforting than I had expected it to be. I step into the tub fully, then sit down, letting the bubbles submerge me, wincing slightly at the movement.

My rib cage still hurt. But the warmth of the water made the aches in my body slowly slip away from me. Though it felt nice, I still felt a bit weary about the water.

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Negan's POV was brief, but more to come in the next chapter! Unless if you guys don't enjoy that, then maybe not. How do you guys like the story so far? also, thank you so much Horrorfan13, Charleneclark1988, and guests for reviewing! If any of you follow my other stories, and wonder when I'll be updating them, probably sometime later this month, I will work on all of them, even the ones that I haven't updated in a while, and maybe even some new story ideas I've got in the works! :) thanks guys!


	5. Chapter 5: Bath time

**Chapter 5:**

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_**[Negan's POV]**_

When I think she's finally in the tub, I spin back around to see her sitting there awkwardly, straight as a board. I raise an eyebrow at her.

"Is the water too fuckin' cold already, doll?" I question her, assuming cold water would be the source of her god damn awkwardness perhaps. I dip a fuckin' hand into the water, it's still pretty warm. She flinched as I took my hand out of the water.

She didn't exactly look like she was enjoying my fuckin' company, but she did ask me to stay. fuckin' women.

"Want me to leave you fuckin' to it, now?" I ask and she looks up at me and shakes her head.

"No! P...please stay." She says in the sweetest voice, that I just couldn't refuse.

"Alright." I say, leaning against the toilet tank. She kind of just fuckin' sat there in the water for a long ass time. Not even moving. Playing with the bubbles here and there were her only movements. But she made no moves to actually bathe or clean herself. Maybe she was still in shock or some shit.

"Want me to wash your hair, doll face?" I finally ask and she nods at me blankly. I instruct her to lean back into the water. Her eyes look panicked at my instruction, but I assure her it's fuckin' okay.

Her hair was in so many Goddamn knots. I wasn't sure I could get them out. Maybe we would have to cut this rats nest right the fuck off her head.

She lets me shampoo her hair. I washed Lucille's hair for her, more than a few times, but it not once was knotted up this badly. I gently try to pull away at the knots with my finger tips, not wanting to give this fragile girl any reason not to trust me.

I keep trying at the knots until I decided it was probably hopeless, and just rinse the conditioner out of her hair.

She continued to look like a zombie. Uncomfortable with my presence, so I ask to wash the rest of her. She hesitantly nods, but lets me. I'm as gentle as possible. And once we're done, I wrap her in a big towel, and carry her to the room.

**_[Emily POV]_**

I was still scared of him, but somehow, his gentle hands massaging my scalp Gave me comfort. Surely someone with hands as gentle as his could do no harm.

I sink into the bubbles when the memory of him beating my captor to a bloody pulp flashes through my mind

The water below the bubbles was pretty bloody as well. It didn't exactly put my mind at ease. I was relieved to be away from the bloodbath when he finally decided to lift me from the tub.

I vaguely remember him setting a fresh pair of clothes next to me, and when I didn't respond, nor put them on, He asked if he could put them on me. I nodded and he did. Again, he was so gentle, it was shocking.

He tucked me under the covers then told me to get some rest. He left me in the dark room by myself.

**_[Negan POV]_**

I put her in my bed, I wasn't about to leave her for the wolves, and what I mean by that is, those sick mother fuckers that work for me. Most of them were convicts, and would eat her fine ass up in a minute.

I get comfortable on the couch in the next room over. She's got the bed until I figure out what to do with her. She can't be in shock forever. Maybe when she does better, I'll give her a room near me, so I could keep an eye on her.

I shake my head lightly. I'd have to play babysitter. I didn't have any motherfucking time to play baby sitter.

I dozed off and the next morning my tray of food is set on my desk just as it was every morning. I walk into my bedroom with the breakfast, it hadn't occurred to me til now, that I hadn't offered her any food since she got here. I look around and the girl is nowhere to be found.

I set the tray of food on my bed, then open the curtains so I could possibly see better, but still don't see her anywhere.

She couldn't have run off, nor snuck past me, there's nowhere to fuckin go.

My bed is empty. I look in the bathroom. Nothing. I look under the bed, no one. I stood there puzzled.

"Emily?" I ask and I hear a thunk in my closet. I wander over and pull the doors open, and there she is.

Her eyes squinted. She's sleepily curled up under my clothes.

"What the fuck are you doing in there?" I question her and she shrugs, her eyes still squinting.

"I don't know." She says honestly. I scoop her up and set her on the bed, her eyes still mother fucking squinted.

Oh shit, I forgot how much the sun hurt her eyes when I first brought her outside that one time.

I run over and shut the fucking curtains. I wondered if her sight would always be this damaged.

Once her eyes adjust to the darkness again, her eyes landed on the food tray.

"Go right ahead sweetness, that shit's for you." As soon as the words left my lips, she began to devour what was in front of her. She ate in a messy manor, that sort of reminded me of a child.

Once She was done, she looked at me in a shy way.

"All full now, sweet cheeks?" I ask and she nods. I take the tray away and out of the room. I come back to find her still sitting there in my T shirt that was much too big for her.

"Now." I said sitting next to her in the bed.

"Tell me why the fuck you were sleeping in the closet?" I question her, and she just shrugs.

"Is my bed not comfortable enough? I guarantee this is the most comfortable bed in the whole God Damn sanctuary." I tell her and she just shrugs her shoulders again.

"I don't know, I just woke up in there." She admits looking down. I nodded.

"Alright, but maybe next time, just try the bed, if you don't want the bed, I'll fuckin' take it." I go to stand up, and I feel her small hand on my arm. I look down at her in question. She takes a moment to actually reply verbally.

"A- Are you leaving?" She asked me in a tiny voice. I was actually, but the way she asked me, lead me to believe she didn't want to be all the Fuck alone.

"Uh. No. I could stay." She nodded at me with enthusiasm. I actually had a lot of shit to do today, but it looks like all that would be shoved aside. Besides, I can just send out little fuckin' Timmy and the Dick brigade for a supply run. I didn't have to go and watch them hold their dicks all day when they scavenge.

My eyes flicker over to her.

"The closet must not have been too fuckin' cozy. why don't you take a nap?" I suggest and she nods and settles on the bed.

"I'll be in the other fuckin' room. Not leaving." I explain before exiting the room and closing the door softly behind me.

I grab my walkie from the charging port and switch it on before speaking into it on Simon's line.

"Hey Simon, send tiny Tim up, will ya?" I ask and when it's confirmed, I kick back on the couch and pour myself a glass of whiskey.

I honestly didn't know what with this Emily chick. I don't feel like I can put her to work, and I'm definitely not gonna make her into a wife. Not that she would ever agree to that anyways. I took a sip from my glass as I heard a knock on the door.

"Come the Fuck in." I say and plaster my showcase grin off as Tiny Tim walks in.

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Author's note: Thank you Gussyboyblue1971 and guest for reviewing! and thank you to everyone who followed and favorited the story! I know I haven't written Negan in character much at all for this story, and I made him really soft, But I feel like with Emily he would be, but if you guys don't like it,maybe I can toss in some barbaric crude Negan in there. Anyways, thanks for reading!


	6. Chapter 6: Not sleepy

**Chapter 6:**

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_**Emily POV**_

Everything still felt so awkward. I felt like I was living a life that wasn't my own. I still wasn't entirely sure if I was still alive. I could be living in some kind of weird limbo that will throw me back into hell at any minute.

He told me to nap and maybe I should, but then again I wasn't all that sleepy. I decided to explore the room. I was looking at the design on some sort of glass he had that was set on the nightstand. I don't know what he'd been using it for but whatever it was had a strong smell, does he drink that stuff? That was when I jumped at the loud knock in the other room.

I set the glass back down and go over to the door. Not opening it, just listening.

"Come the fuck in." I heard Negan's voice and then the door creaked shut.

"Tiny Tim. How the hell are ya?" Negan asked and I heard the man say that he was good in response. I find myself picking at my cuticles with anxiousness.

"I need you and a handful of those other dick shits to ride around the freeway over here. I have some guys looking for Dwight and his thieving bitches on the other side over here." I furrowed my eyebrows at the conversation. I didn't really understand it much, but I wouldn't have recognized any names anyways. Negan and the Doctor were the only two I've met here so far.

"I don't expect a big haul back from you guys, but just see what you can find over there if anything." I heard Negan explain and then some paper crinkling before a door closed. I go back over to the bed, wincing a little. My side was still pretty sore, but I've had worse injuries.

After a few minutes, my savior walked back into the room. His brow furrowed.

"Thought I told you to nap?" He questioned and I shrugged in response.

"Not sleepy." I informed him before deciding to let my curiosity get the better of me.

"Who's Tim and Dwight? And is Tim really Tiny? An-" I tried to continue before I was interrupted.

"That shit is not important, little eavesdropper." He said as he scratched at his facial hair and sighed.

"I really gotta fuckin' shave this shit." He said walking over to the bathroom. I crawled down off the bed and peeked at him from around the corner as he rummaged through the bathroom cupboards. Then I jumped as he slammed them shut loudly.

I wondered what I was supposed to do now. Surely he wouldn't let me crash here forever. Though I wasn't too sure where I would go. And apparently the world is 'dead' as everyone's been telling me.

Negan walked back out of the bathroom and looked at me. He looked like he was about to say something, but then he just walked back out of the room again. Only this time he left the door open. From here I can see him down whatever was left in his glass.

"Stay here." He barks at me before leaving the room. I heard the lock click once he closed it.

I peered out of the bedroom and into this.. living room connected to it? My feet still on the carpet in the bedroom. I wasn't sure if I was allowed in there or not. But he did leave it open.

I walked out and saw a leather couch and hesitate before finally taking a seat. The cool leather felt nice on my skin. I rolled around on it a bit and then I looked down at a map that had been left on the coffee table in front of me. There were lines on it going out in every direction. I wondered where we were now? And how far away it was from where I was? I didn't know where I'd been kept all those years though, so I guess it didn't matter much. I also found a pen on the table. I missed drawing. Maybe he had some paper I could borrow? I'd better ask first though, because I don't want to be yelled at. I set the pen back down and explore the room some more.

I heard the lock click and doorknob jiggle a bit before opening, and I ran back to the bedroom as fast as I could.

_**[Negan POV] **_

I left to grab her some clothes. She looked like she might be a medium. Or maybe even small. Some shit like that, I couldn't be sure. All I knew was, my t-shirt and boxers made her look so fucking tiny and she couldn't wear them forever. Seeing her in my clothes kinda gave me a hard on, and I didn't wanna fuckin' scare her the fuck off.

I wasn't sure what exact size she was, Or what she liked to wear, so I just grabbed a bunch of this and that.

I headed back to my office and walked past some of the wives on the way.

"Are those for us?! We finally don't have to wear these skimpy black dresses!?" Johanna asked me with excitement in her eyes.

I scoffed, annoyed at her stupid assumptions.

"No, Jo. These aren't for you. Go back to the Parlor." I say and she pouted and walked away.

"Negan, we haven't seen you in days!" Tatiana complained and I rolled my goddamn eyes.

"What the fuck ever, like you care? Go help yourselves to a drink, girls." I tell them and they hurry away out of sight. I didn't have time for their games, I left Emily all the fuck alone up there.

I walked back in with piles of clothes in my arms and as I opened the door I watched as she hurried away from me and into the bedroom. I raised an eyebrow at her and followed her in. She looked up at me with apologetic eyes.

"You know, you don't have to stay in the bedroom. When I said stay here, I just meant here." I tell her and she nods lightly.

"S-Sorry." She says, and I just stare at her for a minute, puzzled by this girl. She seemed so scared that I caught her out of the bedroom. Did she think I was keeping her fuckin' captive here?

"You don't have to stay in the bedroom." I repeated to her.

"But I don't want you leaving the goddamn building. It's not exactly fuckin' safe out there." I went on and she nodded faintly in acknowledgement.

I laid the piles of clothes on the bed and she looked up at me confused.

"These are for you." I scratch the back of my head.

"I wasn't sure what size you wore, or what you liked. But I figured it was better than you living in my t-shirt and old boxers every damn day." I said and she nodded again.

"Thank you." She smiled sweetly at me, then dug through the pile of clothes.

When she found a t-shirt she liked, she took off my old white one. Normally a gentleman would look the fuck away, but I'm still a goddamn man at the end of the day.

She tugged the boxer shorts off as well, not seeming to mind she was putting on a goddamn show for me. I decided to exit the room before Negan Jr. got any more worked up than he already was.

**_[Emily POV]_**

It was awfully nice of him to find all these clothes for me. I wondered where they came from, how this world even worked now. I barely had a grasp of the old world, I was just a kid back then. But this new world? It was still such a mystery to me.

I eventually found a pink shirt and smiled at the color. It was nice on the eyes. Pink wasn't my favorite color before, but I kind of like it now that I've seen it. I slip Negan's big white shirt off and put this new one on. It fit nicely, I found some shorts that fit me as well, and go to put them on. But perhaps Negan didn't agree with my choice of clothing because he leaves the room in a hurry.

I also found some cute, warm looking ankle socks that match the shirt. I slip those on my feet and wiggle my toes in them. Wearing clothes again felt weird. I kinda liked the feel of his big t-shirt better. But maybe he was annoyed with me for wearing his clothes before.

I walk over to the door hesitantly and peek at him. He's studying the map again, and I walk out and look around the room until my eyes fall back on him.

"Uhms...T-thank you for the clothes." I say shyly. His mouth opens to speak, when there's a knock at the door.

"Who the fuck is it?" He growled in an annoyed tone, then motioned for me to go to the room and I do as he says. Listening in when someone at the door informs him of some sort of emergency, then I hear him cuss, and the door is slammed shut and locked.

I'm left all alone in the quietness again.

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Author's note: Thank you to the guest who reviewed, and a very special thanks to dork for helping me edit! you're the best!


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